Millie & Monty's Muddy Meetup

What a disgrace I am - I've neglected my blog, so unless you've been following me on Twitter you will have no idea what I've been up to!

Today I had the most pawsom play date with Monty Dor from Twitter (@monty_dor) in some fantastic woods.

We started off quite clean & respectable.....well clean at least.

Monty going for the casual sling-back ear look

There was lots of chasing after tennis balls, picking up, dropping, swapping..... & careless leaving around of TBs too! 

Race you...... last one to the ball is a dog

I got it, I got it!

Multi-tasking Millie sitting & pointing simultaneously.

 Sometimes when the excitement gets the better of you a crash can happen....

Collision course.

I might have resorted to the odd shoulder barge.....

Illegal manoeuvre 

If you don't throw the ball right now, I'll poke my tongue out at you......

Told you!

Solidarity tongue poking.

Half time mud bath.

I managed to have quite a few humiliating photos taken, while handsome Monty looked debonair in them all...... even the muddy ones!

Handsome Monty....... Goofy Millie

Psycho Mille

Handsome Monty....

Handsome Monty....

Curly eared Millie

Sigh....... And THAT's why I don't like having my photo taken!

There was some good mud puddling to be had, but if the water's not deep enough to swim in I don't really understand the attraction. Monty on the other paw....

What you doing Monty?

Boys!

Monster from the Mud Lagoon

 But at least Monty tidied himself up before he got back to the car. Spinning faster than the speed of camera!

Sharing the mud

Can't wait for the next play date!

Dogs' Ten Commandments

It has been brought to my attention that I have been slacking on the blog front, so as discipline has been lacking I thought it would be good to go back to basics and re-visit our Dog 10 commandments:

1. Love your Owner - they have paid the equivalent of a lot of tennis balls for you, or they rescued you from a tricky situation.

2. Do not love fake owners. Sniff humans carefully before you let them pat you, and if possible get treats or toys (watch out for Cruella Deville).

3. Don't growl at your Owner. If they are doing something nasty like trimming pawnails a little grumbling is permitted, but only if you look guilty and lick them afterwards.

4. Try not to work at all, but if you have to, get plenty of rest. This is not restricted to Sunday as we have 4 legs we need more rest than the bipeds.

5. Do what your Furmum and Furdad tell you or they will prod you with their nose and may nip you. Don't worry, this is usually short term until you are taken to your forever home with Owner.

This is where dog commandments vary slightly to the human ones...

6. Destroy toys if you fancy - get the squeaks and stuffing out if possible. (But only toys, not our stuffed friends on Twitter). If you can catch a real squirrel you will be held in the highest esteem.

7. You may hump other dogs but it is polite to at least sniff noses or bums 1st.  It's not necessary to hang around afterwards. If the Owners don't like it, it makes your life easier if you do what they say.

8. Don't get caught stealling. If you do, try walking slowly and really close to the ground. Alternative measures include hiding, grovelling, licking Owner, or if really drastic measures are needed try being good for a while.

9. If at all possible, try to pass the blame onto someone or somefur else. If you are lucky to have a Brofur or Sisfur you could always blame them, but remember they might try that tactic on you too.

10. Covet all toys, treats, food, comfy chairs, and human beds. Remember that what you have is yours, what you want could be yours, what you can get is yours.

Most of all have fun and live life to the full.

There's been a murder!

Sit down, I've got some bad news...... there's been a murder! 

I was walking along enjoying my evening outing yesterday and horror of horrors I spotted this...

He will be OK won't he?

I only know a couple of bears - Henry (@henryandfriends) and Berkeley (@BearBerkeley) on Twitter so I was immediately concerned for their welfare. I knew it wasn't Berkeley because he lives in a different country, but Henry was absent from Twitter for a few hours, so I was worried he might have been the victim. It's OK though, I had a tweet from Henry to say that he hadn't been murdered. 

The victim remains unidentified, so I have decided to investigate the murder. No evidence at the scene...

CSI Millie Dog on the case

The worrying thing is that it's not the first time this has happened. A few weeks ago I found this on one of the paths in the park!

Evidence of previous crime

Today I decided to go back to the scene of the original crime to see if there were any clues, but the path has been blocked off. (Suspicious or what?!)

Crime scene ahead

I went round the trees to the other side of the field and it's all been fenced off and there is DIGGING there now. (The body chalk outline was near the big tree and the blue box thing in the photo) Could there be more bodies???

Crime Scene Investigation

I thought I'd better keep my head down & sniff around quietly in case the murderer was still about (my main suspect is the nasty German Shepherd who keeps trying to kill me!).

Sniffer Dog

I think I found a clue, it was in the same field as the body chalk outline!

Is this a clue?

Later on, we saw a troop of soldiers marching in the park and they were heading towards the murder scene! (Incidentally, on the other side of the wall they are marching past there is a CEMETERY!)

Army drafted in to help

I don't seem to be getting very far, so if there are any witnesses or if anyone thinks they might have information that may help, please contact me - I'll be in my office....

Collating the evidence

As they used to say at the end of BBC Crimewatch "Don't have nightmares, do sleep well"!

Dummy!

OK, paws up everyone who is checking this blog out because they thought the title was referring to them?

Not you dummy! - gundog dummy!

Hang on a minute....

Searching for dummy

....this is a gundog training dummy (the green thing, not the brown thing!)

Here is it!

I met my Vizsla friend, Oscar, in the park this morning. He always gives me a good run for my dummy. We both want to get the dummy 1st!

Shall we swap heads?

To be fair, technically, it could be argued that it is Oscar's dummy as his Dad bought it - he gave it to me as a present after I "borrowed" one of Oscar's dummies for a few days went we were pups!

Come & get it!

I was joking - you can't have it really!

"Give me the dummy"

Resorting to illegal tackle

OK, we both found it!

Sometimes Owner & Oscar's Dad make us sit & wait for the dummy to be thrown. I get SO excited I quiver!

Wait!

Mostly the dummy is thrown away from us, but this time Oscar's Dad threw it at us to us! (I think Oscar looks funny because his eyes are shut in this photo - sorry Oscar, but you do look funny!)

Catch

I am really pleased with myself every time I get the dummy!

I've got it!

Sometimes if I get a little *ahem* distracted in the park by another dog's toy, or something I could roll in,  Owner will say "where's your dummy?"! That has 2 effects: 1st, I get to find the dummy which I love, & 2nd, Owner looks really stupid because all the humans think she is talking about something to keep a human baby quiet! It's a win, win situation for me!

Very pleased with myself!

I like it when Oscar's Dad throws the dummy because he can throw much further than Owner! Oscar watches the dummy to see where it goes, but I just run ahead & if I don't see the dummy land I use my nose to find it.

Ready?

Oscar has worked out that I usually overshoot my run so he can often pick up the dummy before me.

Fetch!

When Oscar has had enough of running he'll let me go & get fetch the dummy....

Come on Oscar, keep up!

....then  he will lie down to ambush me when I'm on the way back!

Ambush imminent

Regardless of who gets the dummy 1st, we often run along together both holding on (we also do this with a ball, but that's not quite so easy!)

It's very heavy - you might need help carrying it.

Joint effort.

Another successful day at the park!

It's a mistake! #destructogang

Many of you who are on Twitter will know about #destructogang - a group formed by @MissPishPosh consisting of anipals who destroy things.

Is this the face of a destroyer?

Well, I received a membership badge from the UK badge distributor @RealJoanneK. I'm sure you'll all agree that the design by @super_nat is lovely, but I think there must have been a mistake! I'm not sure why I have been included in destructogang - I mean it's not as if I destroy things!

Sniffing to check it's for me

Definitely my badge

There may have been a few *ahem* incidents that have occurred implicating me, but I can explain them all (Your Honour).

For example, this rope toy was cleared damaged by the friction of the floor, therefore not my fault it became a little dishevelled.

"Before"

"After"

The ball on the rope pictured below was a health & safety problem. I had to shorten the rope to prevent injuries to the humans (they get a bit tetchy when their legs get bashed during ball flinging). It also made the toy more ergonomic for the humans. So you can see what a selfless dog I am sacrificing my toy enjoyment for the love of my humans.

Health & safety nightmare.

The ring toy below was purely adapted for educational purposes. I think it shows my academic potential. Not sure I can do the whole alphabet with it though!

This used to be an "O"

Now it's a "C"

When I help with the gardening, Owner sometimes misinterprets it as destruction. 

See? The pruning worked a treat!

Just pruning the loganberry!

Mum & Dad have a problem with rabbits in their garden.

The photo below may look like I was destroying the toy, but as it was during the World Cup Football games, you can't be too carefully with security. Someone has to check for bombs. I didn't get any thanks for my bravery though.

I know it looks bad!

Owner sometimes takes random photos of broken stuff. I'm a bit annoyed really because it makes it look as if I did it!

I wasn't there & you can't prove it was me.

OK, OK, I'll admit that this ball was damaged by my teeth, but if Owner buys inferior quality balls I can't be held responsible for the consequences.

Brain sculpture

Owner brought this disaster on herself. She put some treats in the end of my toy, so I had to get them out somehow!

Why didn't she just give me the treats?

Sometimes there's no getting away from the odd accident. If a ball accidentally gets caught in my teeth & the fluff on the outside gets caught up occasionally the ball "falls apart".

Who said balls were supposed to be round?

 Of course there are times when a dog has to carry out a mercy mission. Free the squeak is an active mission.

Free the squeak

It's in here somewhere

So you can see, it's clearly a case of mistaken identity!

I'm an innocent dog!